by Anthony Glassman

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the theater, just when you thought all the big spring premières were over, whammo! Two more plays come out of nowhere, blindsiding you.

First of all, there’s The Alchemist, an Elizabethan comedy by Ben Jonson, put on by Bad Epitaph Theater Company, produced at Cleveland Public Theatre, starring two of the young luminaries from Dobama Theatre’s Angst: 84, one of whom is the soft-goods prop artisan for Cleveland Play House. Plus, it stars Crumpet the Elf.

Do you see the confusion? This is one incestuous theater town, Cleveland is. Oy.

Okay, a note of explanation about Crumpet the Elf. The play doesn’t really star Crumpet, it stars Curtis Proctor, who plays the off-duty department store elf in Bad Epitaph’s wildly successful seasonal treat The Santaland Diaries. In The Alchemist he plays Sir Epicure Mammon, a wealthy man wanting to get wealthier through a get-rich-quick scheme, namely alchemy, turning base metals into gold.

I know it can’t happen, you know it can’t happen, but a group of con men have convinced him it can happen in this modernization of Jonson’s play.

Heather Stout, the narrator of Angst: 84, shows us just how lovely she can be out of gothic rock drag, luring Mammon to his doom.

Sabrina Gibbar plays Pertinax Surly, a friend of Mammon’s who dons male garb to infiltrate the den of wolves, er, con men, to prove to Mammon that their intentions are far from noble. (She is the above soft goods prop artisan, and played metalhead Tiffany in Angst.)

Here’s where it gets interesting.

"At the time [the Elizabethan era] there were very few female roles," explains director Lawrence Nehring. "We wanted to open it up. There are so many talented actresses, we wanted to use more, and two of the characters seemed to work well as women."

Including, apparently, Pertinax Surly, who now has more issues to deal with than before when she discovers she is falling in love with the rich widow Dame Pliant, also in the thrall of the con artists.

"She is a woman who is very prideful at being able to see through the deception," said Nehring, "and all of a sudden her own feelings blindside her and she has to continue this deception."

So now we have a heterosexual woman playing an erstwhile lesbian. According to my sources, there is kissy-face in the play, so did it make Gibbar uncomfortable? Was it difficult for her to have a romantic kiss with another woman?

"Not really," she confided. "I think that’s the wonderful difference between men and women. I just figured, I’m an actor, that’s what I do."

Quite a change from tales of male actors who go and gargle with Drano after the heart-rending trial of kissing another man on stage or screen, yes?

"There was ass-grabbing, there was boob-fondling, it was a moment of comic brilliance," Gibbar said of the first rehearsals of their scene. "Then Larry [director Nehring] had another take on it and turned it into a really romantic moment."

Hmm. Wonderful cast, sensitive director, fascinating story . . . I think it might just be a good production.

What of the other play?

Master Class is being produced at the Beck Center for the Performing Arts in Lakewood. Master Class is a comedy-drama about Maria Callas, the opera star who made diva an everyday word. She teaches a class at the Juilliard School of Music in New York, giving aspiring young opera singers critiques on their singing.

It alternates between Callas, played to vivid perfection by Dorothy Silver, speaking to her "class" (the audience) and the other actors on stage. The comedy comes when the legendary star engages in an internal dialogue, recalling old conversations and musing through the tragedies and dramas of her life. Later, it turns almost deadly serious.

Silver’s ability to go from one extreme to another comes through strongly, and her performance is spectacular. In the comic scenes, she is reminiscent of the British actress Kate O’Mara playing Jackie, Patsy Stone’s sister on Absolutely Fabulous: bitchy, classy, intelligent, vain, and just a bit holier-than-thou. In the dramatic scenes, we see the vulnerability, the insecurities of a woman who was never the "pretty one," but who struggled to the top of her profession in the public eye nonetheless.

The play was written by Terrence McNally, who gave us Corpus Christi, the gay Passion play causing headaches with protesters everywhere it is performed.

Playing the stage manager is Cleveland gay actor Curt Arnold, fresh off his success in The Dying Gaul, which also played to ever-increasing audiences at the Beck Center.

Master Class is directed by Reuben Silver. If the last name sounds familiar, it should. He’s the husband of the star; they work together quite frequently, albeit they tend to shift who directs whom. The collaboration between the two Silvers has proven for years that nepotism works. Their familiarity with each other engendering a comfort with the roles that wouldn’t be possible otherwise.

Master Class is playing at the Beck Center for the Arts, 17803 Detroit Ave. in Lakewood, Thursdays through Sundays until June 10. For more information or tickets, call 216-521-2540.